


Even The Devil Can't Save Me

by BeyondJupitersLight



Category: We Know the Devil (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 04:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14011941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeyondJupitersLight/pseuds/BeyondJupitersLight
Summary: Jupiter would give anything to forget the summer. she never wanted to see Venus or Neptune ever again. At least, that's what she told herself. She just wanted things to be normal again, to forget about the two girls that completely flipped her world on it's head. But after several text messages and plans to meet up, she realizes that maybe normal is never coming back. The girl she did everything to try and forget about just won't leave her head, and no matter how hard she tries she just can't shake the butterflies or unclean thoughts that haunt her mind.





	Even The Devil Can't Save Me

The first thing Jupiter did when she got home was go straight to her bed. Exhausted mentally and physically, she told herself she needed time before she could recollect everything that happened this summer. She lied flat in her bed, in nothing more than a tank top and shorts as she stared at her ceiling fan. 

 

_ Go to sleep, Jupiter. We need to sleep. _

 

She thought to herself, eyes trying to focus on one single blade as her fan spun. Her room was hot, she was sunburnt, sticky from sweat, and still reeked of incense and campfire. She wished she would’ve showered before climbing into bed, but considered it too late now. Summer lingered back on her mind as she tried to convince herself to sit up, do something more than just lay there if she wasn’t going to sleep. But with little success to her attempts, she just closed her eyes. Instantly, flashbacks of the humid, gross cabin she had stayed in for the summer intruded  into her mind, followed by her group mates, just as unwelcome. They had all made an agreement to stay in touch, or at least try to. Relatively speaking, they all lived fairly close to each other, all of them going to neighboring schools. 

 

It was nice, she supposed. 

 

Or maybe it was bad.

 

she didn’t really know. 

 

Jupiter would give anything to forget the whole summer ever happened, but also at the same time she considered it one of her best memories. Neptunes’ sarcastic remarks and sly smiles, venus’s genuine laughs and constant apologizes, she could still hear them in the back of her head. She could still feel Neptunes warm hands brush her skin and the sweet taste of her chapstick. How she smelled like strawberries and how she always managed to make herself the center of attention without evening trying.

 

_ Stop. _

 

She snapped her hairband against her wrist as she opened her eyes and frowned, pulling herself up and slipping out of bed.

 

_ You might as well shower if you’re not going to sleep. _

 

She made her way down the hall, everything seemed unfamiliar to her. Like the face of somebody you swear you recognize but can’t remember from where or when. She made her way into the small, quaint bathroom consisting of a tiny glass shower, toilet, and sink. The blonde reached into the shower and turned the water on, slipping out of her clothes and tossing them on the floor, setting her hair tie on the sink. The shower had already began to steam as she slid the glass door open and got in, standing in the boiling stream of water. She just stood there for a little bit, eyes trained on the wall tiles, before her body slowly went through the motions of washing herself.  _ Beats the camp showers _ , she thought to herself. The water was always cold and you had to wear flip flops into it, or else you risked catching some sort of fungus, and not to mention the nasty bugs you would find in there sometimes. A faint smile crossed her face as she remembered neptune coming out yelling, soaking wet and wrapped in a towel. 

 

_ “Holy fucking shit a spider the size of Texas just crawled out of the fucking shower drain and I am not going back in there no matter how fucking hard you try.” _

 

She chuckled weakly. Everyone in the camp avoided that shower for the rest of the summer. She remember just how… Mad neptune was about it. It wasn’t even fear, it was anger. Neptune wasn’t afraid of anything, instead of running and hiding she braced things head on and let it know it fucking pissed her off. There wasn’t any girl out there that was quite like her. Long brown, dipped dyed hair and dark eyes that could put uncertainty or fear into even the devil, she was beautiful, and she knew it, and didn’t care what you thought about it. She was the only one who was vocal about how sick of your shit she was, and would put you in your place if you ever stepped out of it. 

 

_ Shut up, shut up. Stop it. Stop thinking about her. _

 

Jupiter rubbed her wrist, looking down when her hair tie wasn’t there. She looked out through the steamy glass and saw it sitting on the edge of the sink. Frowning, she slowly sank to the floor, water rushing over her face and obscuring her vision. She found herself tightly rubbing her wrist, unsure of what to do. Normal girls didn’t think about other girls like that. Normal girls didn’t stare, didn't have those kinds of thoughts, didn’t disappoint their parents. She slowly hugged her legs to her wet chest, and trained her eyes on the ground. 

 

_ You’re not normal, you’re not normal, you’re not normal.  _

 

_ God knows Jupiter, he knows how bad you really are. _

 

_ You can fool everyone around you but you can’t fool him. _

 

She furiously rubbed at her wrist, not caring about how bad it burned or how red it was getting. She could still feel Neptunes soft hands on her arms and she could still smell her damn perfume. Jupiter hated it with every ounce in her body. Her mother sent her there to fix her, she went along to fix herself and she came out more fucked up than before. She hated Neptune. She hated how she felt.

 

_ Why can’t you just be good? _

 

She shut the water off, shaking and disgusted with herself. She wrapped a towel around her shoulders and placed her hair tie back on her wrist. 

 

**Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap.**

 

Every time harder than the last. Jupiter picked up her clothes, and made her way back to her room. After setting the clothes in her laundry basket she proceed to slip on a black tee shirt, and a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. It was hot, but she didn’t care. She didn’t feel sticky and she couldn’t smell the incense anymore. 

 

**Snap. Snap.**

 

Jupiter was mad, but she wasn’t really sure why. She laid back down in her bed and picked up her phone, eyes widening as she realized Neptune and Venus had been blowing up her phone in an attempt to make plans later. She sighed through her nose. She had no desire to see Neptune. She never wanted to see her again, if that was possible. 

 

But she couldn’t say no to her even if she wanted to.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Jupiter groaned as her phone buzzed again, she was running late and she knew it. Neptune wasn’t very happy with it either, but she didn’t really blame her.

 

**♆**

**Where the fuck r u**

 

Jupiter rolled her eyes and rubbed her hair. She was about a block away at that point, but didn’t really want to tell her that in case she wanted to bail last moment.

 

**♃**

**I’m getting close I think, will be there soon.**

 

**♆**

**For an athlete you sure are slow lol.**

 

Jupiter pocketed her phone after that text, and paused to look around. This was stupid. She shouldn’t be meeting up with them, if anything she should be getting as far away as possible and avoiding them like the plague. But instead she begrudgingly made her way towards some run down coffee shop that looked like it had daily drug deals behind it. The blonde started to wonder why the hell she agreed to this as she neared the place. It wasn’t too late to turn back, she told herself repeatedly, but her legs were on auto-pilot at this point. She quietly entered the building, the bell above the door chiming and she scanned for her friends. 

 

“Jupiter!” Venus hopped up from where she was sitting with neptune, smiling happily to see the tomboy. Jupiter had jumped a little at her name, and smiled weakly over at her friend.

 

“Hey Venus.” she made her way over, and the short haired girl sat back down. “How are you guys?”   
  
“Happy to be out of that hellhole” Neptune mumbled, sipping a coffee cup “Sit down.”

 

Jupiter complied, sitting next to the long haired girl. Neptune looked as beautiful as ever, despite not trying at all. 

 

**Snap.**

 

“So what did you do when you got home from prison?” Neptune looked over, leaning back in the booth.

 

“My mom asked me what we did, what I learned.” Jupiter shrugged “I gave her the vaguest answers possible, and retreated to my room” she laughed weakly.

 

“Same here.” Venus smiled up from her tea “I don’t think I’ve ever slept so soundly in my whole life, it was nice to be back in my bed.” she took a small sip   
  
Jupiter nodded in agreement, glancing over at neptune periodically, making awkward eye contact, and quickly looking away. She felt her heart pound as she attempted to keep a conversation with the two, eyes drilling into the table aside from occasionally looking up. She wasn’t fully there, Venus and Neptune could tell. 

 

“Alright. Jupiter. What’s up.” Neptune said suddenly, causing Jupiter to looking up. 

 

“What are you talking about?” her voice had jumped an octave, and she was genuinely shocked by the comment. Her hand reached to snap her hair tie again, but was only meant with Neptune grabbing her wrist and holding it up.

 

“Oh, hell no. Fuck off. You’re not doing this again.” she snapped at her, causing Jupiter to shift uncomfortably and glance away from them, trying to pull away from neptune, who held on tighter. It wasn’t rough, or forceful, just enough to get the point across she wasn’t letting go. “Jupiter.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Neptune sighed through her nose, and rubbed a temple with her free hand.

 

“Venus, excuse us. We’re going to go to the bathroom” Neptune gently pushed the smaller girl out of the booth 

 

“But it’s a one person bathro-”

 

“Shut the fuck up.” Neptune cut Jupiter off, dragging her towards the back of the building, closing the door and locking it behind them. It was small, and smelled like cigarettes and weed. 

 

“What is your problem?” The tan girl said, furrowing her eyebrows as she looked at Jupiter, who shifted eye contact away from her.

 

“Nothing- nothing is the matter. You didn’t have to do this.”   
  
“I know you’re lying. You’re a terrible liar.” 

 

“Neptune it’s not that big of a deal. I’m fine.” jupiter argued with her, and found herself gently backed against the wall. 

 

“Why are you lying about it then?”   
  
“Because, really, I’m fine. It’s not that big of a deal. I’m just tired, I haven’t really been able to sleep since I got back from camp.”

 

“Why?” Her dark eyes burned into Jupiters’ light blue ones.

 

_ Because you’re constantly on my mind. Because you’re driving me crazy. Because you’re the cause of all this and if you would just leave me alone and get out of my head I wouldn’t have any of these problems- _

 

“Jupiter.” Neptunes tone softened a little from the hard, harsh tone she had. She looked up at her, and gently touched her own face, surprised to find it was wet. 

 

_ When did I start crying? _

 

“Can we talk about this later? We left Venus alone.” She avoided confrontation, and moved the attention off of herself. Neptune frowned more, sighing bitterly.

 

“Fine. I guess.” she let Jupiter go, and walked off, leaving her alone in the bathroom.

**Author's Note:**

> tl;dr Jupiter is really gay lol
> 
> if you see any grammatical errors let me know.


End file.
